I wear a size 6/7 in regular clothing.
A size 2-4 in women's sizes.
A straight medium in normal items.
Then I did some research and found this:
USA: The average American woman's weight has increased 11 pounds (7 %) in the 10 years between the gathering of statistics, while her height has remained about the same. Earlier I had reported a weight of 152 pounds (69 kg) and height 5' 3.7" (162 cm). Now, it's 163 pounds (74 kg) and 5' 3.8" (162 cm).
Men have have also increased their weight by an average of 10 pounds (6 %), from 180 to 190 pounds, while remaining essentially the same height: 5' 9".
The USA results are from the National Center for Health Statistics, based on two studies: NHANES III (1988 - 94) and, the most recent available, HANES (1999 - 2000).By those stats, I'm about 30 lbs under the national average.
Great.
Whatever, right?
That's not what irritates me. What irritates me is that my underwear is always a size LARGE.
Yes, you read that correctly - LARGE.
I have a 27" waist for Christ's sake.
I have 36" hips.
Fuck you, underwear makers!
Who's responsible for these labels?! Is that you, China?!
LARGE!
I couldn't stuff myself in a medium without circulation problems so severe that it would require amputation. A small? A pocket pack of Kleenex must be bigger.
Are they just fucking with me? Why don't they just print on the label what they really want to say, "You have a big fat ass and it requires a LARGE!"
The outside paper that they insist on attaching to said thong/g-string/french cut underwear should just call it like they see it, "Whatever self-esteem you thought you had - WE'RE HERE TO TAKE IT AWAY. HAHAHA! COW!"
Kiss my fat ass, self-esteem label making oppressors!
Leggins, yoga pants, shorts, skirts - size small.
Underwear underneath small items? - LARGE.
assholes
Those bold bastards will even go so far as to sometimes write: "Size 7 - Large" on them, JUST to rub it in, I'm sure.
I hate you underwear label makers.
Oh, and by the way, fuck you.
*snicker* That's MY size! No way it can be yours with the other sizes you list. Maybe it's where you shop that's the problem.
ReplyDeleteI swear to God. I think we'd have to be 86 lbs in order to fit into a size medium. There is NO WAY I can fit into a regular medium. I managed to get one on ONCE and then it was decision making time - wear the set, or be able to breathe.
ReplyDeleteI chose breathing.
Silly me.
Newport News.
ReplyDeleteLaRedoute.
Frederick's of Hollywood.
Hell, it could be Kohl's or Target - doesn't matter.
LARGE.
bastards
Though, I think this is my new favorite store:
ReplyDeleteBody Central
You know, you might not be a size large if you'd lay off the damn Chesters. (We have those in our house now as well. I'll express my opinion of you in person...)
ReplyDeleteLast time I checked, my size was whogivesashit. Guys have it sooooo easy.
According to my calculations, if you're a large then a large (pun intended) portion of the population would be considered to have their own gravitational pull by that yardstick. Obviously not true and completely ludicrous. Small is probably more like elfin in reasonable terms.
It must be the same people who make baby clothes. All my kids were in 18 months before they were half that age.
I thought Asians were good at math...
(Sorry, that was in poor taste)
and yes...I DO have my own gravitational pull... so there :P~~~
ReplyDeleteI was going to suggest that maybe it was the places you shopped because we ALL know that certain shops "glamour size" so their ginormous, "Omar the tentmaker" sized shoppers (Im one of those shoppers so no hating on my comment)feel better about themselves (Im talkin Catherine's and the rest of those plus sized shops). However, I don't think any that you listed even do that.So the reasonable thing to think is that maybe underwear are created by stick-figures.
ReplyDeleteIs that you, China?!
ReplyDeleteThat is too funny. Man you crack me up.
Now I know what size of ginch to send you!
ReplyDelete