I once heard the following statement being made and it has plagued me ever since.
"A Man Would Rather Have Another Man's Jealousy
Than Another Man's Respect"
So, this is a poll of sorts.
I know that things are suppose to be bigger than that and all the ideals involved on what is suppose to be important in life, but if broken down to only those two options, which one is more important to you guys?
Wait!
Better way of putting it!
As a male (I say as a male because women work on an entirely different scale - not better or worse, just different), would you rather have another male respect you for your work, who you are, what you've done - OR - deep down, is it more important for you to have another male be jealous of who you're with, what you own and where you've been?
Respect. No doubt, no contest.
ReplyDeleteIn the workplace,he wants respect. In the dating arena, he wants jealousy. It boils down to what provides the best situational validation.
ReplyDeleteI say respect... with a side of awe which was caused by the fact he was jealous of the Completeness of Me which inspired the initial respect.
ReplyDeletebut respect...I can be jealous of what someone has but still not respect them and not believe they are worthy of what they have that is making me jealous...but I think that the jealousy is transient and insignificant. Respect lasts, it is earned and until undermined remains.
poptatari - much as I look at you as a twin of mine separated at birth; your opinion on this doesn't count!
ReplyDeletelaughs
You're a Capricorn!
You're always going to say respect...or fear.
I would never even ask you this question personally because it would be a waste of breathe for both of us!
besides, no one hears a Capricorn when they speak anyway...laughs...except another Cap...
Lo - you so utterly nailed what I was trying to ask that I had to revise my question. It's so nice to see you here too! Your husband told me what you said when you read my response to him about the notes to the girls. I'm very, very happy that all of you have each other. You sound like a wonderful family.
PM - You're the supreme word definer here, so help me out. Are you saying you'd rather have respect and awe - or some other guy's envy?
I think here is a drive in males to dominate, as such I agree with the Godfather and think that men would rather be feared than respected. Jealousy from the viewpoint of an alpha male is useless, deference is much more valuable.
ReplyDeleteFear doesn't interest me. To take a very primal example: When I step into a sparring match against someone the only thing I want (actually, demand is a better word) is respect. You're getting it from me, so it damn well better be reciprocated.
ReplyDeleteI'd choose the same with my kids as well, and rather have them do what I ask out of respect, not fear.
Did I become a Capricorn overnight...did you not hear me /laughs I thought it was perfectly clear.
ReplyDeleteI want respect.
Respect is IMHO is something that is earned, it is a reverence perhaps inspired by awe. The person who is respected has some quality that the other party holds in high regard or value. The person whom it is bestowed upon should feel honored that he/she is being respected.
envy is defined as: (n)painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage (v) to begrudge /laughs loving the word and even more so that Merriman webster deems it obsolete.
so IMHO envy can be directed at someone you despise. You merely want what they have and their worthiness to posess said thing(s) is irrelevent.
Perhaps I was being flippant or attempting to be cute with my first response.
So let the record state..."Respect" choice of PM!
if you respect me I am worthy, I am your equal or of some mettle higher than your own. I have worth in the world and in your eyes.
if you envy me I am open to your malcontent founded in the fact you despise me and have no repsect. I may not deserve what you desire and have some how obtained it. This makes you want to stab me with a Spork! /giggles childishly
the Ponti has spoken
Laoch of Chicago - I think that's very true of leaders. Throughout history, the ones that went the farthest were the ones that were feared the most, save, Ghandi (off the top of my head).
ReplyDeleteGenghis Khan immediately comes to mind.
poptatari - If someone crosses you, you want them to instinctively understand that they should fear you. If someone hurts your family, they SHOULD fear you.
And you do command respect.
I've seen it.
My mother had a different tactic. It wasn't fear of God, it was fear of Mom - and let me tell you, that works!
laughs
PM - NOW YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE!
laughs
How in the hell can a word like that become obsolete?! That was a bad call!
Informative. I never looked at envy as being something having to be ladened with malice. The only time I've ever been envious of someone was when my girlfriend got a chance to do a medical procedure herself that I wasn't qualified to do. There was zero ill will in my statement. I was beyond happy for her to get the opportunity. It was just the only thing I've run across that I wished I could do at the time.
Perhaps my selection of the word envy was misguided towards her then, though, I don't know what other word I should have used.
That's my girlfriend Colleen, who you would like immediately. She's the one from my waxing post... if she ever comes on here, I'll be sure to introduce you two.
NO SPORKS!
laughs
Furthermore, not only was there no ill will - I love her, I COMPLETELY respect her, I most definitely look at her as my equal and I was happy for her.
ReplyDeleteMan, now I really don't know what word I should have used. I wasn't jealous over it. Hmmm... I don't know.
ah well perhaps I am associating envy with Jealousy and thereby tainting it... Perhaps I am mistaken. Jealousy does seem to be more fitting to my explainations.
ReplyDeletehostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage
maybe it is a male thing, and I am biased to believe if a male envies another male, the competative nature of males stears this towards jealousy. If it were true envy it may mature into respect.
Well at least it started an intersting discussion.
If I like them, respect; if I hate them, bring on the massive envy.
ReplyDeleteHi Erin... welcome back to the Bloggerworld.
ReplyDelete