And for today's science project....

For, whatever moronic reason, Grant said something to my son about him wearing a tampon.

...because that's the sort of insult men give to other men and for some God unknown reason, it makes sense to them... Yes, I bite the inside of my cheek and stare at the ceiling in horror...a lot...

I said that that would be one of the dumbest things any guy could ever do.

After that, for whatever other moronic reason, I suddenly had a captive audience.

Picture it.

I've got these two guys staring at me in awe asking about how they even work.

This was so turning into a conversation I never expected to have to have.

I'm trying to explain it and they're not getting it.
"For the love of God..."
So, I went to get one.

When I came back to the living room and sat down on the couch, you would have thought I was about to reveil the secrets of the universe to them.

They were that rapt in attention.

So, turning into a moron with the rest of the group...

...it was like being in 2nd grade all over again and it being show and tell time...

I passed it around.

They both were utterly perplexed as to how plastic would be beneficial.

At first I wasn't getting it. Then it hit me that they really thought that the plastic was the important part.

So, clearly, my job wasn't done.

Like an ass, I stood up and gave the demonstration portion of the speech. I made a fist and slide the tampon through my hand and pulled both removable plastic pieces off with one swoop, leaving only the string showing.

You can imagine how utterly ridiculous I looked standing there with these two with their mouths opened wide at the marvel that is Tampax.

You would think the questions would have ended there, right?
No...of course not!

They weren't getting how it stayed in, how it did anything, why it would work.

I didn't know what else to do, so I dipped it in a cup of water for a second and held it up.

...and you know how that goes, the thing freakin' exploded and expanded in all directions and held all the contents of the cup...within a second...

I really wish you could have seen the look on their faces.
Total amazement.

It was everything I could do to not burst out laughing just looking at them both.

This is when the Q&A portion came into play...

I answered question after question. Then I ended said speech with comments about Toxic Shock Syndrome and how that can kill us as a result of using them.

Let me just say...they're both happy to be male right now.