Fucking A.
Grant just got a new doctor now that his insurance just kicked in in New York.
He just called me.
He called the doctor's office three days ago, made an appointment, saw the guy for 8 whole minutes and is on his way home with two narcotic prescriptions and two other prescriptions for his migraines.
HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I go to the Critical Care Unit with a stack of papers IN HAND and the results of a MRI confirming a ruptured disk in my spine from two days BEFORE I walked in - and the chick gives me 6 whole freakin' pills of glorified aspirin and I had to fight for those.
He's going to stroll through the house with a 90 day supply of something way better than what the Critical Care Unit gave me.
He's a STRANGER.
He has NO RECORDS in this state of any kind.
He could be some homeless drug addict that just walked in off the street for all anyone fucking knows... and they whip out the prescription pad and start looking for a pen.
HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He doesn't even have so much as a headache at the moment.
Oh my God...
For those that have had a ruptured disk, you know that at its onset (and usually for the following 2-4 months straight) - you're looking around for someone to beg to kill you with a hammer.
It doesn't even have to be a hammer.
Really, any kind of blunt object will do.
The thought of turning into MacGyver crosses your mind as you search around the house for some implement that will allow you to gouge your own spine out.
Whatever!
You're not picky at that point!
You will freely accept being run over by a Toyota Corolla.
And THEN ask them to kindly BACK UP OVER YOU.
One time my former doctor had me stand up and pushed against my lower spine and I literally said, "If you do that again, I'm going to punch you in the face."
That's how bad it gets.
HE strolls in and gets three months of high powered pain killers for something that MAY fucking happen.
Do you see the justice here?
...and he just had the nerve to call me and say, "Well, now you have something to write about today."
I told him I was already doing that.
Not that he ever bothers to read this.
He's been here all of ONCE.
Every time he calls I just pick up the phone and my first word is, "Unreal..." and he just laughs.
I'm convinced I could be laying down in a pool of my own blood and some dickhead would say to me, "What, you want an over-the-counter Advil that anyone can obtain? I don't know... are you sure you need one?"
It's not just my current doctor either.
It's every fucking doctor I've ever seen in my whole life.
I lead the cleanest life of just about everyone I know too!
I hate narcotics.
I'm a control freak.
They violate everything I stand for.
No history whatsoever of ANY kind of drug abuse.
If I have to go to the hospital, I even take in two other bottles of muscle relaxers so they know which kind don't work - and half the pills are still in them!
The only time I ever ask for shit is when my disks try to leave my body to go live on their own. It's been exactly four times in the last SEVEN YEARS.
The only thing I could get in over his laughter was, "Do I just find the only doctors that have actually gone to medical school versus printing their certificates off the internet or what?!"
What's worse is I could probably go to his doctor and it would be the same exact thing.
Throw some dirt on it and walk it off...
Unbelievable.
Having the right doctor is key. My daughter has the most kick-ass Neurologist of all time that makes sure she has the right meds to control her seizures and pain.
ReplyDeletePerhaps Grant will share?
*shakes head and moves along to the next blog*
ReplyDeleteUnreal..
Hey it's not my fault, I'm so persuasive. LOL
ReplyDeleteHopefully, there is no next time, but just in case, start hiding Grant's drugs now!
ReplyDeleteOk - first I need some info...
ReplyDeleteGrant made and appointment and provided some personal info to the new doctor correct? Perhaps he even authorized the transfer of records form his previous doctor which would be the normal course, unless he was just released from prison. This would give the new practice some background that you claim he doesn't have....clearly the audacity of the situation has blurred you sense of reasoning.
Secondly - when people show up with a bag full of meds and test results I think the doctors assume - great another one of those want to be doctors who knows it all. ( they clearly do not expect intelligent patients who know what has been done and what works or not, especially a patient that has the decency to provide them with crucial information that may help them do their jobs)
After all they are gods - right?
Anyway - jump to mild-mannered Grant a Clark Kent personality... could do no wrong... Doctors jump to the conclusions this upstanding guy obviously needs something give him carte blanc.
My doctor is very open to me discussing options with him and requesting a certain protocol for treatment... because I have that look you could trust.
Hide his drugs in case you need them… and next time hide the datum that will assist the critical care doctors until after they give you the good stuff or at least until they are considering it.
Think about it, people with Munchhausen syndrome go to the doctor armed with all kinds of info, do you want to look like them???
After you have stopped wanting to rupture my spine and calmed down you will see my point.
Oh the “kindly please back over me” had me peeing my pants.
Side note: When a person comes to you that appears violent, you should probably think about sedating them ANYWAY.
ReplyDeleteViolent does not equal insane.
PAIN however, can work its way up to insane!
fucking asshole
I really should go pay him a visit just to tell him how much I think he sucks.
Oh my God... let me tell you another story while I'm at it!
ReplyDeleteWhen I went in for my MRI. The tech was a total bitch. I understand it was early in the morning and neither of us wanted to be there.
Fine.
Whatever.
She handed me my gown and a key to a locker and told me I was on my own, call her when I was done.
Alright.
It took FOREVER to deal with the pain and try to change and try to carry all my shit to the fucking locker.
Why? Because anything more than 4 lbs in front of me being carried makes my back burn as it is - let alone when the side of your spine is bulging out of your body.
When I finally got to her and on the table and done listening to the jackhammer noises in the pod for a half hour...
Her whole demeanor changed.
She became sympathetic and PLEASANT.
I wanted to hit her in the face after that.
Then she couldn't do enough for me. She got my stuff off the floor of the locker because bending down is.......just...bad.
The techs are not allowed to tell you any results by law, so I knew right then and there that it was blown.
Zero benefit of the doubt before the proof though, that's for sure.
I should stop by her house after I'm done visiting Mr. Non-Surgical...
Well I don't know what to say in response....
ReplyDeleteI have a realy good Chiro if your intersted. Not that I have anyhting to compare your situation too, but he does alright by me. He is holistic and non-perscription let the body heal itself but at least he seems honest enough to tell it like it is. Let me know and I can provide his info...he is by the Y on the west side of your town/village if I am correct.
Oh and if you need help digging a ditch I can help.... I have the ahem "equipment" that predisposes me to be good at that and with your bad back you shouldn't be digging graves I mean ditches.