Okay, hadn't thought of that...

Luxury Brand to use DNA to fight counterfeiters

A company based in the state of New York will apply DNA markers to luxury goods in the hope of counterpunching the counterfeiters.

Applied DNA Sciences has not identified the brand with whom they’ve reached the agreement, however they did reveal that it was a luxury goods company headquartered in Europe and affiliated with several product lines.

They have signed a 5-year contract with the luxury brand and will apply genetic material to their goods for identification purposes. The benefits of using DNA, with its qualities of being distinct and unique to every living organism, seem obvious.

James Hayward, the president and chief executive of Applied DNA said: "Proof of authenticity is a central tenet of brand integrity, and there is no better proof than DNA."

The company will use botanic DNA, which cannot be copied. Essentially, the genetic material will be fused with various fabrics, dyes or glues, thereby creating a unique, verifiable label.

Applied DNA will attract revenue every time they verify the authenticity of an item and for every authentication mark purchased.

It appears science and luxury are in perfect synergy.

---

I don't even know what to say to this just yet... it's an interesting thought though and opens up a myriad of possibilities.

fine, I'd be killed first...

It's been pointed out in great detail, in a clear and concise way to me, exactly how and why I'm never going to make a good hostage.

BY ALL OF YOU!

Some of you going the extra mile to illustrate exactly why I would not only NOT live, but why I'd be the very first shot. I was even forced to agree tonight.

Points taken.

uh...and I appreciate the suggestions on how I'd have to be to avoid said issue...

Fine.
I'll pick some other hobby.
Sheesh

But let me just say this... if I ever DO become a hostage and LIVE, I'm so writing the longest post about it in contradiction and there will probably be pie charts involved too! You've been warned!

*&$#*^% Animal Planet

My daughter taped the show Animal Cops or Animal Rescue (something like that) off the Animal Planet channel. We just watched all three episodes together and I'm mortified.

I don't know if I watch things that make me irate because I never want to forget that there are things to be irate about out in the world or because I really don't want to be ignorant of the things that are going on outside of my house or because I'm afraid I've seen so much that I'm petrified I'm going to get to the point where nothing fazes me.

I'm not sure.

What I do know is that I wanted all the people responsible for all the horrendous things done to these animals - to suffer long and hard.

I watched a story about a puppy so infested with ticks that the insides of this poor animal's ears were black from the colonies of them. His face and body were covered in ticks that were literally sucking the life out of him. His gums were white because he was so anemic. He was so weak, he couldn't move.

I watched a story about another puppy that a bunch of teenage boys decided to put a plastic bag over its head after duct taping it's face shut so it only had enough room for its tongue to be out - then duct taped its legs and arms together. Then left it to die in the heat with a 107 degree temperature.

I watched a story about another dog that had been beaten and HOGTIED, had broken teeth and a bloodshot eye - left to bleed and die in a garbage can.

I watched a story about a Mother dog with 8-9 puppies so malnourished from nursing her litter that you could see all of her bones.

I watched a story about a woman that had 90 cats in her house; complete with two litters of newborns buried so far under garbage in the house that she didn't even know they existed.

I could never be a Police Officer, a Social Worker or do Animal Rescue like these people do.

I'd need bail money constantly.

I'm not cut out for it. I'm a huge sucker and I'd have a house full of animals and kids and people living in my yard in tents because I ran out of room.

Couldn't do it.

That's when Roadkill* decided to trot over, drop her ball in front of me, sit, purr and look up at me patiently waiting for me to throw it for her.

Then I wanted all of those people that did that to those animals to suffer all over again.

Horribly.

not in a popularity contest, so...

Here are the two things I was talking about yesterday, since no one took me up on wanting to guess. To start:

Roe v. Wade, case decided in 1973 by the U.S. Supreme Court. Along with Doe v. Bolton, this decision legalized abortionoin the first trimester of pregnancy. The decision, written by Justice Harry Blackmun and based on the residual right of privacy, struck down dozens of state antiabortion statutes. The decision was based on two cases, that of an unmarried woman from Texas, where abortion was illegal unless the mother's life was at risk, and that of a poor, married mother of three from Georgia, where state law required permission for an abortion from a panel of doctors and hospital officials. While establishing the right to an abortion, this decision gave states the right to intervene in the second and third trimesters of pregnancy to protect the woman and the "potential" life of the unborn child. Denounced by the National Council of Bishops, the decision gave rise to a vocal antiabortion movement that put pressure on the courts and created an anti-Roe litmus test for the judicial appointments of the Reagan and Bush administrations (1981–93). In a 1989 case, Webster v. Reproductive Health Services, the court, while not striking down Roe, limited its scope, permitting states greater latitude in regulating and restricting abortions. Then in 1992, in Planned Parenthood v. Casey, the court reaffirmed the abortion rights granted in Roe v. Wade, while permitting further restrictions.

See N. McCorvey with A. Meisler, I Am Roe (1994).

---

(1973) Decision of the Supreme Court of the United States that established a woman's right to have an abortion without undue interference from the government. A Texas law prohibiting abortions was challenged by an unmarried pregnant woman (pseudonymously named Jane Roe), and the court ruled in her favour, finding that the state had violated her right to privacy (see rights of privacy). Harry Blackmun, writing for the seven-member majority, argued that the state's legitimate concern for the protection of prenatal life increased as a pregnancy advanced. While allowing that the state might forbid abortions during a pregnancy's third trimester, he held that a woman was entitled to obtain an abortion freely, after medical consultation, during the first trimester and in an authorized clinic during the second trimester. The Roe decision, perhaps the most controversial in the Supreme Court's history, remains at the centre of the issue of abortion rights. Repeated challenges since 1973, such as Planned Parenthood of Southeastern Pennsylvania v. Casey, have narrowed the scope of Roe but have not overturned it.

--

Now, regardless of anyone's personal views on abortion, it is NOT against the law. The SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES, a government agency, says it's LEGAL. The HEAD of the Federal Court SYSTEM says it's okay. It's been OKAY for the last 36 YEARS. WHY it's even still on the table for debate is beyond me, but that's a whole other issue.

For those that don't think it should be legal, ask yourselves this: Would you find it reasonable for it to be a felony and would you be willing to put any woman that went for an abortion under arrest and then throw her in prison over it?

No female ever makes this choice lightly and no female that makes this choice is exempt from living with it.

Overwhelmingly, the opposition to this issue seems to be solely moral...and if you've read me at all, you know that I don't think morals should have any part in the making of laws... laws should simply be about the betterment of society in my opinion.

So, explain to me WHY on earth, no Federal health insurance plan will cover abortion.

I want to know.
Because I don't get it.

Again, the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT deems it LEGAL.
THE HIGHEST POWER IN THE LAND WE LIVE IN deems it LEGAL.

Let me further say that... Planned Parenthood, you really piss me off when it comes to this issue.

It does not make sense to me.

I, without question, hold nothing against anyone that doesn't like the idea of abortion. Can I see how it's seen as unsavory? Yes. Would I absolutely support any friend of mine that made the decision to go forth with a pregnancy even under horrendous circumstances like rape? Yes, because that's my job as a friend.

That said, even financially - does the state see it better to pay a couple of hundred dollars for an abortion or possibly have to pay the next 18 years of health care, food stamps, welfare, etc, etc. Not that most abortions are even from lower class economics, but really - getting down to facts and figures, what makes more sense.

With the horrendous rate at which women are raped in this country, should they then have the added bonus of having to go into debt to pay for an abortion on top of it? God Bless the morning after pill (RU486 - which had to be fought for as well for some ridiculous freakin' reason) - but how many cases go unreported?

With the horrendous rate at which women are subjected to verbal, emotional and physical violence at the hands of their partner - only made WORSE and at a HIGHER RISK of DEATH when they become pregnant as seen here, here and here, where it lists that up to 25% of pregnant women are abused and sometimes killed...

Does it make sense to have someone in a domestic violence situation and then not afford them the means to sever the ties with their abuser because their insurance, that they pay thousands of dollars a year for, says no.

Two) Give citizenship to everyone already here. Just do it already for cryin' out loud! Wave your magic wand and make it happen.

If this health care option isn't going to cover undocumented people - make them documented. This country was built on IMMIGRANTS. It's the very fabric of our existence.

Costs are forcing hospitals to close all over the place, especially in Florida and California due to them not being able to handle the charges wracked up by people who can't afford to pay.

If you're going to make it a LAW that EVERY American citizen has to carry Health Insurance, just like you have to carry car insurance - that's fine with me. Got it. Understood. That doesn't answer for the costs incurred by those that are here illegally and are not required to carry health insurance.

You also can NOT have those people dying in the streets either or afraid to go to the hospital and then DIE AT HOME.

Estimated 11.9 million illegal immigrants - that's 11.9+ MILLION illegal immigrants that will what? Be required to stay healthy? Die? What?

Blanket statement!
You're all now citizens!
Prove who you are, get your citizenship certificate.
Welcome to America.
Now go get some health insurance.

I say this for another reason too - I dislike the idea of American companies exploiting illegal immigrants. What the hell is that?! You don't get to do that. Stop it. Right now.

Anyone that you hire has the right to minimum wage - and trust me on this one, no one is getting rich off of minimum wage. I don't even know how most people can even live on minimum wage. That is, however, the LEAST anyone should expect and the least you can legally do. The ONLY people that get around that is the food industry where they STILL have a mandatory minimum.

The LEAST.
"I would pay you far less if I could legally get away with it!"..."Gee, thanks"...
COME ON!

It's a LAW.

Wow...look at that... another law... we don't ignore this one in a wide sweeping blanket though, do we? There is not one company that would come out and say, "Well, you can work here, but we don't like that law and we're going to IGNORE IT. We find it immoral."...or even better... "Fine, we'll allow you minimum wage, but because we find that law immoral, we're not going to offer you workman's comp over it if you work for the government."

Side note: Grant just came over to see what I was typing and said, "You don't really want to put that on your page, do you..."

OF COURSE I DO! When you see something that looks fundamentally wrong, you say something about it.

Grant: "Abortion is a hot topic..."
Me: "I know."
Grant: "Do you REALLY want to throw that out there on your page?"
Me: "YES!"

The day I have to start censoring myself, is the day I stop having a journal...

And really, it's NOT even about abortion. That's been ruled LEGAL. That's not up for debate. What IS, is it's legal. The ISSUE I'm debating is WHY then, isn't it covered by the very same system that MADE it LEGAL.

And that, is my rant, for today.

women's bathrooms

You can always tell the sign of a good restaurant/party house/hotel by the condition of their women's bathroom(s).
That's just a fun little fact.

If you want to know if you should plan any kind of event at a place, send some random female into their facilities and just observe the look on her face when she walks out.

If she comes out with a look of total disgust - don't even think about eating there.
It's as simple as that.

The look is unmistakable too. It's that clenched jaw, eyes half closed, every muscle in her body is tense and there is usually some subtle, if not full on, sneer on her face - stance.

For the male gender who may not yet be informed, let me explain.

We take our settings very seriously. We expect it to be clean. We expect to be able to see when we look in the mirror. We expect all the locks on the doors to work. We expect there to be plenty of supplies at our disposal.

We expect room to move. We expect there to be somewhere for us to put our purses and whatever other junk we happen to have with us.

We expect hooks on the backs of our doors - even if some of us aren't comfortable throwing our stuff up on said hook because we also know how easy it is for someone to just reach over and yank our stuff up and out.

NOT THE POINT!

We expect to not feel like we need to shower when we leave a public restroom.
Yes, I said it.
We expect this.

I always crinkle my nose whenever a bathroom is a) some one room thrown together with no thought enclosure or b) co-ed. Bite me. I don't want to share a bathroom with a male in my own house, let alone a bunch of strangers.

No offense. You men are wonderful. I just don't need to know *that* much about you. I see no real need to bond with you in that way. Stop peeing in front of me for crying out loud.

Now, a really well run place who cares about it's guest/clients/customers will build a real bathroom for women.

This will include up to three separate rooms. A foyer, a waiting area and the facilities themselves - which is large and has stalls on one wall and across from the stalls will be an entire wall side to side of mirrors and sinks.

The sink dispensers won't have the equivalent of Lava soap in them. It will be something fruity or flowery, usually some Yardley something or other that you wouldn't bother to spend the money on to put in your own house.

There will be lights - everywhere, so you can actually see what you're doing when you go to fix your make-up. There will be a large garbage can with a swinging lid on it so you don't have to actually see the garbage in it (if not two - one on either side of the room).

There will be a hand blow dryer AND a paper towel dispenser. Half of them have a folding changing table for babies attached to the wall that you can pull down and make your life easier. There is usually a machine that you can get tampons and pads from if you pay the quarter charge or whatever it is these days.

Each individual stall has a metal box for tampons and pads to dispose of and there is usually a huge roll of toilet paper (and another one behind it) and most of the time there will be a dispenser for those toilet seat covers which are more trouble than they're worth. It's nice to know it's available anyway.

There is at least one handicap, over-sized stall. This is not like a handicap parking space. The same rules do not apply. It's acceptable for anyone to use provided that no one is wheeling themselves in to the room before you go to use it.

Our sitting areas contain couches and nice chairs and mirrors with elegant frames on them. Some will have tables that contain baskets with items such as: bobby pins, safety pins, hair spray, spritzer, nylons, handiwipes, cotton balls, Q-Tips, pads, tampons and sewing kits in them. There is art on the wall, low lighting lamps on the table (designed to make our jewelry sparkle, no doubt) and either carpeting in these rooms or very nice tiles; usually carpet.

This is the norm.

Our bathrooms aren't just bathrooms.
They're conference rooms.
and yes, we *are* discussing *you*...

Now, let me set the scene now that you have all of that information floating around fresh in your head.

We were driving from Maryland back to New York. We found ourselves in the middle of East Nowhere, Pennsylvania when we decided to stop at a Citgo.

Seems normal enough, right?
Wrong.

My daughter and I go in search of the restroom. It is, of course, a one room hovel that we both squeezed into.
Fine.

We made our comments and then I looked up at the wall thinking that the dispenser was the usual tampon/pad dispenser.
Wrong, again!

I pointed to the dispenser silently until she looked up at it. When it registered what it actually was, she started laughing out loud.

Condoms!
In all my years, I've NEVER seen condoms sold in a women's bathroom.

But wait!
Not just condoms - adult novelty items too.
That was on the left side.

On the right side was - aspirin.
Seriously, aspirin.

All for the low, low price of $0.75 each.
We found the cracker jack mother of all dispensers!

You may get a condom or you may get an adult item - how lucky are you feeling tonight?! The right side was solely aspirin, but the left side - total guesswork!
She is, unmistakably my child. So we did what anyone would expect us to do left in a situation like this -- We wasted $4.50 on crap we wouldn't buy over the counter and laughed our asses off every time we dropped in three quarters and turned the knob. We had the added bonus of the bathroom wall being 5' from the outside cashier counter too and a full line in front of it.

We didn't care. It was too much for our senses as soon as this dropped out...

Tattoos.
The Ultimate in Fun & Fantasy.

Clearly, I have a lot to learn if tattoos are the ultimate in Fun & Fantasy. I've been doing it all wrong then. I'm going to have to rethink everything!

Grant must have given up on waiting for us because we found him outside at the car checking the oil. We maintained our silence on our newly purchased stash of Black Magic condoms, tattoos and massage oil.

That is, until we couldn't take it anymore and started laughing again.
Then he made the distinct mistake of finally asking us what took us so long.

My daughter and I exchanged a bonding smirk and then I casually said, "Oh, we were buying condoms..."

He rolled his eyes.
Like he didn't believe me.
Then he must have taken a second to think about it.

Because he knows that if whatever I say sounds really off - there is a 99.997% chance that it's 100% true...

Grant: "Did you really buy condoms?"
Me: "Yes."

silence...

Grant: "You did not."
Me: "Okay."

silence...

Grant: "Why in God's name would you be in there buying condoms?"
The two of us in stereo, all excited: "Because we've never seen a condom dispenser before in our bathrooms! It wasn't JUST a condom dispenser either!"

more silence.. at this point I can see why he's confused... I've had my tubes tied for the last 14 years and my daughter is waiting until after she graduates high school at least... this is SO NOT THE POINT!

We produced our bounty so he could bask in our excitement with us.
He still wasn't getting it.

Grant: "You know those are the kinds of condoms you get when you want to get someone pregnant or take your chances of getting an STD from the condom itself from a place like this..."
Me: "DON'T RAIN ON OUR PARADE!"

a whole lot of staring at our excited little faces while trying to figure out what in God's name to say to us to get us to stop...

Grant: "I'm not sure what the big deal is - that's standard in our bathrooms."
Me: "Yeah, we went into your bathroom too (WE HAD TO!). You had a two sided dispenser too. One side, regular condoms. Other side, ribbed condoms, "for her" - no aspirin..."

a whole fuckload of silence...

That's when I felt it was time to break open the marital aid package with the massage oil in it, you know, to break the silence. And what did I get for my efforts?

NOTHING!
That's what!

The freakin' box was EMPTY!
Empty, I say!
What the Hell kind of rip off bullshit is that?!

I looked at my daughter and said, "I think we should go back in and complain!" - being my offspring, she was all for the idea of witnessing that.

Grant: "Get in the car..."
Me: "Fine. I'll write them hate mail instead."

If any of you B&I employees are reading this:

Dear Barnett International Corporation,

You suck. We hate you.
Oh, and you owe me $0.75

Signed,
A Disgruntled & Disappointed Dispenser User
And that, is my condom story.

Oh, and by the way - the tattoo box contained a scorpion and a cartoon kitten playing with a green tennis ball...I don't even want to know who thinks that's the ultimate in Fun & Fantasy...

waxing - don't do it!

This happened years ago, 06/08/03 - but it still seems like just yesterday. So, I'm going to take this time to rewrite it and let it be a public service to all of you. You can never say that I didn't warn you!

I walked out of the bathroom, went into the kitchen, looked my former husband square in the face and said...

"I want the address of the cocksucker that invented waxing"
That was the nicest way of putting it that I could come up with between the bathroom and the kitchen.

My former husband, being the smart cookie he is, held back his laughter by covering the bottom half of his face with his hand before asking me what happened.  Of course, by this point I was half way through my thoughts of telling him how I wanted him to rent a car and how I was going to drive to this person's house and then take this person out back and severely beat them - and then wax them....and I left out NO details! It was all very graphic...and very violent...and no, NOT in a good way either.

Five minutes later and 500 w.p.m. spoken and feeling much better that I had a plan formulated for this person in my head - I finally explained to him what happened...

It's not like there weren't signs:

• Put this tub of wax in the microwave and make it hot.
  
• Coat yourself with this hot wax and then immediately apply one non-woven strip over the wax and rub vigorously.
  
• When the strip feels secure, hold the skin taut with one hand while using the other hand to pull the strip off very quickly at a 45 degree angle.
  
• Put pressure on the treated area with fingers or palm of hand to minimize pain and redness.
  
• After waxing is complete, cool water or ice may be used to calm the skin

I should have stopped right there. I need a drink to kill off the brain cells that obviously thought heating up some sticky crap in the microwave and putting it on my body to then tear something out of my skin that might require me to have to walk around with a bag of ice to relieve the pain.................was a good idea.

It is not.

So, in all my infinite wisdom, I sat down on the floor and put the molten lava-like substance on the side of the tub and thought:  This is cool - says it could last up to 21 days.  It's June. The pool is open. Bikini season, etc, etc.  This is good, right? And on top of it, I'm not a very fuzzy person anyway, so it might even last longer. Good deal. So, I go straight for the bikini wax region and in the process, knock over the vat of wax INTO the bathtub.

I'm trying to think of how I can put this in terms everyone that reads this can understand...

It's like trying to scoop up a jar of superglue. You can't wipe it up. You can't get it off of your hands. You can't rinse it away. It's the sort of thing that should be holding houses together. But I've come this far, so why quit now!

Without getting into any graphic detail that none of you will be interested in knowing, or even care to hear, I'll just say that I keep everything in that area in nice and neat order. So I thought I could just go over the areas I normally shave and that would be that for a good three weeks if this package isn't lying.

How cool is that?

...totally disregarding the fact that they state hair should be a half inch long before you do this and that I shave every day out of pure habit...but apparently, it's recommended that you wait until you take on the resemblance of a small furry mammal before doing this.

First time; nothing.
What the hell. 
Maybe the wax isn't hot enough.

Try again.
Nothing. 
Alright, maybe I didn't let it sit long enough.

Forty-Five fucking minutes later everything is raw and I'm still not sure what I've gotten accomplished. I don't even know how to say it, I can't think of the right term... You know the crease where your upper thigh and pelvic area meet when you're sitting? There. It has about 2 dozen bruises - on each side. And I don't even grow hair there!

And I could really use some ice right about now...

My former husband threw caution to the wind and just flat out laughed at me at this point. The best he could come up with was, "Why?"

He was of no help.

So here I am, six hours later and it still freakin' hurts and the bruises went from blood red to purple...which is NOT attractive, might I add...and I just got off the phone with my friend Colleen.

Good friends know when to laugh at your ass when you do something stupid.
Colleen is obviously a great friend of mine.

It seems she felt she could better express her friendship over the phone instead of just making fun of me through email....which I fully understand and respect, because I would be just as good of a friend to her in return if things were reversed. It's a beautiful relationship...

Colleen: "Why didn't you ask me?"
Me: "Why would I have asked you? I don't call you if I'm going to pluck my eyebrows, why would I call you over this?"

And yet, it was starting to seem like it was really something I should have asked her about first. She explained to me that I was bruised because I didn't hold my skin tight enough on all angles (those 4 arms would really come in handy).

...well what the fuck...do I need vice grips and pliers to get this done right? If we're bringing in power tools, I'm pretty sure I could have achieved the same results with a SANDER...

Colleen: "The epilady is nothing compared to waxing. You should go get it done professionally. They don't hurt, but some of the positions...well... You really have to have some good self esteem"

Oh my God.  
and she's right, I've used the epilady...the epilady doesn't have a thing on this wax torture...

And then she asked the fated question, "How are you going to get that off the bathtub"  
twitch

I told her I couldn't deal. I just closed the bathroom door and hoped the wax faeries look kindly upon their human sacrifice tonight and clean it up for me in my sleep...

I'm convinced that there was a typo in the instructions.  It's not that you won't have to shave for 21 days. It's that you CAN'T shave for 21 days because you're damaged.

I've never loved my razor more in my life.  
and I still want to know where that cocksucker lives...