Gunpower & Lead

Etta James

Seriously...
Play it.
Play it loud.
Play it often.
Memorize it.
Build a shrine to her.



Oh, Jamesetta Hawkins - I can totally overlook your heroine addiction listening to your songs. You're a genius.

Dorothy Dandridge.
I can't even imagine everything you had to go through just to be who you were.


Dead at 42.
It was a loss then and it's a loss now.

32 Flavors

My daughter did a media presentation for one of her senior classes. It was beautiful. If her picture wasn't in it, I would post it here. This is the song she used. It suits her. She's definitely my kid. I love her.



"32 Flavors"

Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
and I'm beyond your peripheral vision
so you might want to turn your head
cause someday you might find you are hungry
and eating most of the words you just said

Both my parents taught me about good will
and I have done well by their names
just the kindness I've lavished on strangers
is more than I can explain
still there's many who've turned out their porch lights
just so I would think they were not home
and hid in the dark of their windows
til I'd passed and left them alone

And God help you if you are an ugly girl
course too pretty is also your doom
cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
for the prettiest girl in the room
and God help you if you are a phoenix
and you dare to rise up from the ash
a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
while you are just flying past

I've never tried giving my life meaning
by demeaning you
and I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do
I'm not saying that I'm a saint
I just don't want to live that way
no, I will never be a saint
but I will always say

Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cause someday you might find you're starving
and eating all of the words that you said

saving abel

Two songs I really like by Saving Abel - and yes, this is solely here because I'm tired of having to search for them every time I want to hear them...and yes, Ponti Mython, I put the videos down low so they wouldn't run across the opening page for you...

After All

After all the pain you put me through
I can’t stand to see the sight of you
And you won’t drown me in your misery
You’ll have to find someone else
To be your company

Facts verses opinion
Nothing ever lasts forever
So when she said she was leaving this time
I smiled and said
I’d let her
Never in my life am I so glad to see
Something end
So in retrospect to everything
I’m hysterical it did, it did

Cause after all the pain you put me through
I can’t stand to see the sight of you
And you won’t drown me in your misery
You’ll have to find someone else
To be your company

It’s not a question of love and hate
You made our life together so desolate
I’ll just call this my resurrection
My savior from self destruction

Cause after all the pain you put me through
I can’t stand to see the sight of you
And you won’t drown me in your misery
You’ll have to find someone else
To be your company

Yea…yea…yea
They say that misery loves company
Yea…yea…yea
They say that misery loves company

Cause after all that you put me through
I never want to see you again
Cause I have come to terms
This ain't no life or death
Situation

Cause after all the pain you put me through
I can’t stand to see the sight of you
And you won’t drown me in your misery
You’ll have to find someone else
To be your company

After all the pain you put me through
I can’t stand to see the sight of you
And you won’t drown me in your misery
You’ll have to find someone else
To be your company



---

Addicted

I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's not like anything
When you're loving me

Oh girl lets take it slow
So as for you well you know where to go
I want to take my love and hate you till the end

It's not like you to turn away
From all the bullshit I can't take
It's not like me to walk away

I'm so addicted too all the things
You do when you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breathe you take
It's not like anything
When you're loving me

Yeah

I know when it's getting rough
All the times we spend
When we try to make
This love something better than
Just making love again

It's not like you to turn away
All the bullshit I can't take
Just when I think I can walk away,

I'm so addicted to all the things
You do when you're going on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breathe
It's not like anything

I'm so addicted to the things you do
When you're going down on me
Or the sound you make with every breath you take
It's not like anything when you're loving me
Yeah
When you're loving me

How can I make it through
All the things you do
There's just got to be more to you and me

I'm so addicted to all the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make with every breath you take
It's not like anything
It's not like anything

I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me

Or the sound you make with every breath
You take it's not like anything
I'm so addicted to you
Addicted to you

fluff

I was sitting here listening to this song over and over again.
I just really like it.
So I thought I'd share.

Well, that and because I'm boring today and don't really have anything interesting to write this morning.

how's that for honesty...

And of course, to start my day out the right way - all the videos I actually LIKE have embedding disabled. You know, just to make every one's life easier.

bastards...

Here's the good one.

Thanks to my friend...

Who knows me enough to know that this song has me written all over it.

Tomorrow

Where ya gonna be tomorrow?
How ya gonna face the sorrow?
Where ya gonna be when you die?
'Cause nothing's gonna last forever
And things they change like the weather
They're gone in the blink of an eye

Just look at yourself, can you see where you are?
Look at yourself, now you can't hide the scars
Just look at yourself 'cause there's nowhere to go
And you know

Tomorrow
You're gonna have to live with the things you say
Tomorrow
You'll have to cross bridges that you burned today
Tomorrow...
And everything you do, it's coming back for you
You'll never outrun what waits for you
Tomorrow.

And are you terrified by sadness
And have you given into madness
You're running out of places to hide
'Cause everybody's got a reason
To justify how they're feelin'
Maybe you should open your eyes

Just look at yourself, do you like what you see?
Look at yourself, is this how it should be?
Just look at yourself, 'cause there's nowhere to go
And you'll know

Tomorrow
You're gonna have to live with the things you say
Tomorrow
You'll have to cross bridges that you burned today
Tomorrow...
And everything you do, it's coming back for you
You'll never outrun what waits for you
Tomorrow.

Are you waiting for the reason to change?
Are you waiting for the end, has it came?
Nothing's gonna stand in your way...

Just look at yourself, do you like what you see?
Look at yourself, is this how it should be?

Tomorrow
You're gonna have to live with the things you say
Tomorrow
You'll have to cross bridges that you burned today
Tomorrow...
And everything you do, it's coming back for you
You'll never outrun what waits for you
Tomorrow.

and since I'm on a roll

The great Etta James.
I want to slow dance to this song.



I just got done serenading a tiny black cat to this. The response I got was her attacking and trying to eat my hair, but I'm still going to choose to believe that she's a fan too considering she's been on my desk for a long time just listening to blues and jazz without trying to run from the room.

Good girl.
She can live here.

thank you, Mr. President

Even the President of the United States agrees with me.


And gets aretha's seal of approval


And for that, you get to sing at the Presidential Inauguration

Aretha is the QUEEN

Did you hear me?!
Aretha Franklin is the QUEEN of Soul.
QUEEN OF SOUL

say it with me now... Queen... of... fucking... Soul...

I swear to God, Grant and I almost had a fist fight this morning when he came downstairs. As all the literate that visit this page know, I was blaring music to my heart's content. And he had the AUDACITY to say that he didn't like Aretha.

are...you...kidding me... please tell me that you're kidding me, so I don't have to put forth the extra effort of plotting your death...

I can take the fact that he hasn't learned the fine art of hanging up a jacket in a room that's solely devoted to the intricate jacket hanging process. I can take the fact that he's a fire sign and is more emotional than I am.

I can take the fact that he needs a schedule and I couldn't care less about ever owning one of my own. I can take the fact that his favorite music is techno.

I can take the fact that he's a list person and I never have any intention of writing a list unless I have to go to court for something and it's for someone else.

I can even take the fact that he thinks bananas are real food and he drowns his coffee in sugar and milk - and basically flat out refuses to eat a solitary molecule of fat on his steak and would rather cut his own arm off than eat something spicy like I do.

Fine.

Oh my God, but don't you ever disrespect Aretha Franklin in my presence again.

DON'T EVEN THINK IT IN YOUR HEAD!
Matter of fact, take out 'in my presence' from that sentence.

I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from saying all the things that were immediately at the forefront.

We're talking about Aretha 'Queen of Soul' Franklin here! Go say 150 Hail Mary's and 50 Our Father's for even letting those words fly out of your mouth!

He's sorry, Aretha!
He knows not of which he speaks!
For his transgressions, we pray at your alter of talent.


You've have to be out of your ever lovin' mind to get up on stage and sing ANYTHING with Aretha. Her voice is so utterly RICH.

.. and she's something like 56 or so in that video... imagine her when she was PRIME.... though, talent like THAT... NEVER dies...


Oh my God, and I so would NOT fuck with Aretha either. Whatever guy she's talking about was either awful brave or incredibly stupid.


Yeah, you heard that right... R E S P E C T...


Grant apologizes, Aretha... he wasn't THINKING like you said...


Seriously, don't get up on stage and sing next to this woman. When she opens her mouth, just shut up.


Gracious on top of it.


Say a Little Prayer for him, Aretha...and if that's not enough, Aretha... I'm totally willing to smack him for you...on his behalf... I'M SORRY!

I'll take you there

I got up at 3am this morning and I've been doing some cleaning and basically blaring music, which is the beautiful thing about the Florida room. Since it's an enclosed porch, there is nothing above it or below it - short of a closed up well.

So I can be as loud as I want.

And I've declared today National Soul Day (because I CAN) and it's been like being in the middle of a Gospel Revival so far. Now I want you to play this song, loudly. I don't care if you just do it once, but for the love of all things good - listen to it all the way through. Just ONCE, that's all I'm asking.

I know a place
Ain't nobody cryin'
Ain't nobody worried
Ain't no smilin' faces
Mmm, no no
Lyin' to the races
Help me, come on, come on
Somebody, help me now
(I'll take you there)
Help me, ya'all
(I'll take you there)
Help me now
(I'll take you there)
Oh!
(I'll take you there)
Oh! Oh! Mercy!
(I'll take you there)
Oh, let me take you there

I don't believe you can listen to this song at top volume five times without being in a better mood.

If you don't like that version (even though it's the original by the The Staple Singers) - this is a good one too. You have to get to the 25 second mark for it to start though (by Karen Clark Sheard).

I'm not even going to get into the sacrilegious thought I had when I first put this song on today and heard, "Ain't nobody cryin', Ain't nobody worried, Ain't no smilin' faces" and immediately thought of a crack house.

Well, come on - technically, no one is cryin' or worried or smiling at a crack house... I once shared a roof with a crack house and all I saw was little happy people... that's a whole other story though (and why I loved living in the City... never a dull moment...)

I would like to post a warning, however - just a little side note this morning. Whomever came up with the idea that black and white square tiles in a kitchen was a good idea - is an idiot and clearly not someone that's ever had to try to keep a kitchen floor clean. They may be beautiful for the 5 minutes they stay sparkling, but that's about it - don't do it.

A special thank you to Pop and Ice for mentioning me on her journal and giving the forewarning that my journal isn't for the faint of heart..........which made me laugh right out loud...

did ya think?

Just a song I like lately, thanks to my daughter. Yes, I'm lazy like that. I'll put something up on my journal just so I can find it again.



Did Ya Think lyrics

She asked if you could stay
did ya think about me when
you almost turned away
did you think about me when
you picked up the phone
should have let it just ringing
And made it seem like everything
was the same as it had always been

Did ya think about me being half awake and crying,
Lying on the floor and waiting for the break of day
Didn't think about tearing me apart,
At any moment in the night you could have tried to make it right.
why, why, why?

Now in an after thought
were you thinking about me
Don't know what you did it for
Cause you were thinking about you, so
you want me to believe
you were thinking about me
It isn't hard for me to see you didn't stop for anything

How bout me being half awake and crying
Lying on the floor and waiting for the break of day
Didn't think about tearing me apart,
At any moment in the night you could have tried to make it right.

Give me one good reason why in time i should believe in you
you had me, you had it, everything
So close your eyes and remember all those lies
that you never say when you pretend that you
will be with me again

Did ya think about me being half awake and crying,
Lying on the floor and waiting for the break of day
Didn't think about tearing me apart,
At any moment in the night you could have tried to make it right.
why, why, why?

Did ya think about me being half awake and crying,
Lying on the floor and waiting for the break of day
Didn't think about tearing me apart,
At any moment in the night you could have tried to make it right.
why, why, why?

killing me softly

I love this song.
Always have.

When I lived in the house I was born in, I use to ride my tricycle around through: the parlor, the kitchen, the living room and the den - singing this. One giant circle.

We lived in the city and I wasn't allowed to ride it in the street unless someone was with me, so I got stuck riding my bike in the house more days than not. I had to have been about 3 or so.

Whenever I hear this song, it throws me right back into that period in life. The sights. The sounds. The people. Events.

Music has always held such a strong place in my life and mind. Everything is associated with it in one way or another.

Good or bad.

I didn't so much care for the song that Susan Boyle sang that catapulted her into stardom (though I do appreciate her voice, just not the song so much), but this rendition of hers is wonderful.

I even try to overlook the fact that she fucks up the lyrics in two parts because I like it so much.

I've been singing it and playing it so much, it even sunk into Grant's subconscious because he was humming it tonight.








The inevitable happens then too - and I wind up thinking about this tiny little boy that I use to sit out on my front steps and watch whenever he would ride his big wheel in the street.

I wasn't allowed off the steps, so all I could do is sit there and watch him day after day.

I was just as acutely aware of my surroundings way back then. I would sit on those steps and be his personal watch guard. I don't recall us ever saying a solitary word to each other.

I was 4 years old.
He couldn't have been more than 2 years old.

I never knew where his parents were. I don't remember ever seeing them. So, I would sit there and when a car was coming, I'd yell for him to get out of the road.

He always did.

Then one night my Aunt came over - and my mother, father, she and I went to dinner. My brother wasn't even born yet. As we were walking back the two blocks to our house, I saw all the lights and I just knew.

I can still see it like it just happened yesterday.

There it was, right in front of our house - the chalk outline of his dead body. His big wheel cast aside in the street and them pushing the stretcher with his body on it into the ambulance. Tire marks clearly defined in the street.

Police cars all over the place.
The lights were so vivid in the dusk.

It's been 36 years since that happened and I can still picture it crystal clear. That little boy is never that far from my mind. And I've never shaken the notion that if I had been there - he'd still be alive.

No matter what anyone tries to tell me to the contrary.

That was my role and I failed him. It's as simple as that. I understand how ridiculous that sounds considering I was just a little kid myself, but that's how I felt then about it and how I feel about it to this day.

That little boy (and I don't even know his name) - is never very far from my thoughts. He's the reason why I was so adamant about my kids always being in my sight while they were growing up too.

I know that everything can be over in the blink of an eye.