mia status

My computer decided it no longer wants to have a viable space in my existence.
FINE!
Bastard!

For five hours yesterday morning, I tried everything I could think of to not take a hammer to my computer and work it over like it was my own personal enemy who I just learned was out to destroy me.

I wanted to treat it as a hostile witness.

I wanted to treat it like it was one of those perky morning people trying to convert me to being one of them.

I wanted to treat it like the producer of Twilight who made me sit through that tragic story just to take notes on who was responsible for that disaster at the end of it.

I wanted to kick its ass like I always want to do with those people you hold a door open for and they walk on through like it's my JOB to open their fucking door for them, without so much as a thank you, a smile or even noting my existance.

Sidebar...

Is it my job to open a God damn door for you? No. Do I walk around with a sticker on my shirt that says, "God damn door opener" - No. Then it's not my job to do that. It's called common courtesy. The response to common courtesy is a simple THANK YOU.

What pisses me off is it's ALWAYS WOMEN.

I hold the door for a guy and the guy is always shocked and ALWAYS says thank you. I LOVE that. I'll hold a door open for any guy I'm not dating any day of the week if I'm in front of him.

That said...if I am dating you, then yes, you do have an invisible, "I'm the God damn door opener" sign on you at all times.

Anyway, it was that kind of hatred going on up in this house yesterday as far as my computer was concerned.

I gave a 20 minute straight violent speech about how it only has ONE JOB. ONE SINGLE JOB. And that job is to MAKE ME HAPPY.

At the very least, it's job is NOT TO PISS ME OFF.
I find this perfectly reasonable and not asking too much.

My man... we'll call him, Grant, for the sake of not horrifying him. I like that name anyway.

I went into great detail to Grant about how beautiful all the tiny broken pieces of my computer would look for all the neighbors to see out on the patio.

I totally romanced the whole thing. Even went on about how the sunlight would hit it in the morning fucking dew and make it look like really bad art.

I even used hand gestures.

By minute 19 or so, he handed me a sheet of paper he printed out with a whole list of new computer items he just purchased to build me a new computer.

They should all be here in two days or so.

He understood everything I had to say because he has one job as well. It's the same job...not to piss me off. In the process he usually makes me happy too. It's a two for one bonus with him.

He's a good man.

In the meantime, I'm out on his computer in the living room writing this. It's his computer though and regardless of the fact that he doesn't care if I use it or not...I'm territorial and computers are personal to me, so I won't be using it as often as I would use mine.

That's my MIA story for the day.