I love this stuff...

I was doing a little light reading while my daughter and I are up at this ridiculous time of the morning talking about nothing in particular.

She's taking a break at the moment by blaring some song and singing. I love listening to her. She's got this rich voice designed for Jazz and Blues.

Thank God.
Give me some Renee Olstead, Etta James and Ella Fitzgerald any time.

Anyway, I thought I'd take this time to write a little.

It's been well documented that Grant is more interested in space and I'm more interested in our waters. That said, I ran across this:

10 Horrible Deep Sea Creatures
The Viper fish looks like something out of a horror movie. I am endlessly fascinated with our seas, but really - there's not a chance in hell that you would catch me down in some cage looking these things in the eye.

No, thanks - PASS!
I'm good with a picture!

We're not at the point where we could send a human being down that far to see a lot of things, but the day will come AND I WON'T BE THERE!

A 60 foot Giant Squid.
Good Lord.

That reminds me of an old circular puzzle that my Grandmother use to own. We'd spend a weekend putting it together when I was a kid. It was, hands down, my favorite one. It was SO detailed. It had everything.

It had to have been designed by an earth sign. If there was a way to make it more difficult, I couldn't think of one. It was even double sided. Perfect.

It was a drawing of an old map that had all the mythological creatures that seaman use to claim were out in the waters that no one really believed. It featured a big tentacle creature wrapping itself around a water vessle.

Who's laughing NOW?!

They FOUND the 60 foot squid that defied all logic to the average person. Can you imagine being out in the middle of east nowhere with no land in sight and then this creature pops out of the water that's bigger than your whole boat?

The only words you'd hear out of me is, "Well Bob, you can cross me off the list of EVER GOING ANYWHERE WITH YOU AGAIN!"

You tube had this on the Giant Squid.
I'm amazed they caught it.

And those Giant Isopoes...
What are they, the cockroaches of the sea floor with hyena stomachs?

Call me sick, but I want to meet the person who came up with the names Coffinfish and Vampire Squid (incredible). That person was either really, really tired at the time or was reading too much Anne Rice.

At the risk of sounding like a moron, I thought chimaeras were mythical. I didn't realize that we had some - or that they had noses like jets.

I'm going to refrain from making any kind of comment on the blob fish and the dumbo octopus other than to say - how can you be mad at anything that looks at you with that face?


Well, provided it doesn't gnaw your arm off or something...

What I want to know is... What do you have to do in life to have to come back as a BLOB FISH. Seriously. Is that for the people guilty of the sloth sin? "Well, Joe - when you had limbs, all you did was sit around on the couch and do nothing with them anyway...so, quit your complaining! Now you'll see what it's REALLY LIKE to just lay around!"

Oh my God, you can practically hear the sigh from that poor creature.

My daughter just came over and we just had a conversation about this... wherein she decided to re-enact BEING a blob fish. Complete with lack of hand gestures, balled up on the floor and with a giant frowny face... because she's sick and needs help.

It was funny as hell though.

Then we went through the idea that while it was in the water, it was probably SMILING - and then some ass went and ripped it from its home and made it ALL SAD. It's the Kilroy of the fish world!

That's just terrible.
And now the girl child won't stop being in my face with the blob fish face.
Again, because she's sick and needs help...

So much for me only making one comment about it.
Oh, I found this too:


Do they just supersize everything on the bottom?
Do we have natural steroids down there or something?

Everyone should see this as well. They've been so far down in our waters and away from any kind of sunlight for so long, they've had to create their own sources of light. It's better than any kind of laser light show that humans could come up with, that's for sure.


Slightly petrifying.
Completely bizarre.
Utterly fascinating.