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What is Assertiveness?

Assertiveness is the ability to express yourself openly and honestly while also reflecting a genuine concern for others. It is about having the confidence to be yourself, to be true to your values and beliefs, and to be courageous enough to speak up when needed. Acting assertively can increase your chances for honest relationships, help you to feel better about yourself, and give you a sense of control in everyday situations. However, asserting yourself will not necessarily guarantee you happiness or fair treatment by others. Just because you assert yourself does not mean you will always get what you want. Nonetheless, by developing an ability to express yourself, you may be able to reduce your stress, increase your feelings of self-worth, improve your decision-making abilities, and feel more self-confident in relationships.

When confronted with difficult situations, people can sometimes respond passively or aggressively. Passive people tend to be distrustful of their own thoughts and feelings. Therefore, they often think about appropriate “comebacks” or “what I should have said” long after the situation has ended. This person often feels inhibited, anxious, and allows others to depreciate their value. Other individuals may respond aggressively to difficult situations. Aggressive individuals express their rights but often at the expense, degradation, or humiliation of others. Consequently, the aggressive person may get what they want, but they may lose the respect of others in the process. Assertiveness falls in between these two responses. And if being assertive does not come naturally, it can feel like being between a rock and a hard place, or what has been bluntly described as “a middle ground between being a bully and a doormat”

Being Assertive in a Diverse World

I thought that was very well stated.