Kisses, Damn it!

Fetch --
Grant came home Sunday night to a subtly redesigned first floor.

I use to try to make two seperate sections out of the living room (20'x17'). One cozy spot in front of the fireplace and then another cozy space in front of the TV.

...but this is not conducive to playing fetch with Roadkill*.

who is currently passed out on my lap because she had a long hard day of being passed out on my lap in the other room earlier...

Now, everything is pretty much wide open space on the first floor just this side of looking like I just moved in.

PERFECT!

If I stand in the dining room, I can wing that spongy ball of hers through both rooms equaling a good 30 foot distance. If I stand in the kitchen, it can go for about 52 feet, but admitedly, you have to bank shot it off the Waiter door and then one of the dining room walls to get that to go just right.

I'm working on it.
I'll get it eventually.

We've also learned that she's an asshole sometimes. She will bring the ball back and drop it two feet away from you. Oh, she'll travel with the stupid thing across three rooms, but then falls short at the end.

Even when you say, "Bring it back!" - she'll go get it again and then totally fuck you over by STILL dropping it a foot or two out of reach IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION.

Jackass

So, what you have to do is hold your hand out like a cup for her to drop it in or basically, you can go fuck yourself, she's not doing it.

Fine.
We'll consider it a compromise.

Conversation --
It still cracks me up when Grant is standing in the kitchen and she drops the ball at his feet and sits down patiently. Waiting. He's so tall that most of the time he doesn't even see her and she has to start talking to him to make her presence known.

He's still the only one she talks to - and she does it every single morning.

They'll have a full on conversation, filled with, "is that so?" and "then what else happened?" and "anything else you want to say?" from him to her and she's eager to respond.

It's like listening to a CIA debriefing in my kitchen every morning.
He's 6'1"
She's 1'6" and they stand facing each other.
It's very cute.

She still wants the ball thrown though.

Kisses! --
I decided that we're learning the "kisses!" trick this week.

This trick starts out where she sits in front of me and we stare at each other for awhile like two morons. I'll touch my finger to her nose and then my lips and say, "kisses" - she'll continue to stare at me like I've gone mental.

Rinse.
Repeat.

All the while, I'm trying to be patient with her.
And she's trying to be patient with me.
We've discovered neither of us are very patient.

Then it becomes simple blackmail and we're both suddenly back on the same page.

I have ham that she wants.
She doesn't have a job, so has to earn her keep.
Win/Win.

I discovered the error of my ways in getting this trick accomplished the other day. It requires an edge of annoyance to my voice and the magic words are not "kisses!" - they are, "Kisses, Damn it!"

THEN she looks at me with this, "Why didn't you just fucking say that in the FIRST place! We'd both be 10 minutes happier right now!"

Then she puts her paws on my knee and stretches her face up to mine, we touch noses - and we're good. Mission accomplished.

Bubbles --
Grant found these at the grocery store yesterday. They're called Kookomunga Krazee Kitty Catnip Bubbles. They're about $2.00 US.

The cat and I were the only ones up early, early this morning - so, I broke the package open and blew bubbles at her.

HILARIOUS!
She went INSANE!

She crouched down like a little black panther and GROWLED. Then she flipped out and hopped around HISSING trying to avoid the onslaught of bubbles raining down on her.

I mean, hissing like I've never heard!
If you heard hissing like this in the jungle - you'd be scared for your life.

So, after the tile was soaked in the downstairs bathroom, we moved out into the living room for more space and a whole new region to violate.

There were bubbles ALL OVER the living room rug. It looked like a remake of the The Lawrence Welk Show in there.

For those of you that don't know who Lawrence Welk is, he use to have his own show from '55 that lasted 30 years. He featured musicians and if you were an 80's child - your Great Grandparents and Grandparents probably forced you to watch it every Sunday night on their old black and white TV that looked like it weighed as much as a small elephant - and was about the same size... Oh my God, I'll do you one better... this is what our old stereo consols use to look like!

You saw things like this on the show:


Okay, that's funny, Grant just walked in and the room is full of bubbles and he just said, "Man, it looks like a Lawrence Welk Show in here!"

which just means that he's old too...

Anyway, my point in bringing up The Lawrence Welk Show in the first place was because his closing cues ALWAYS had bubbles. Like this:


Which is what my Florida room currently looks like..