Kingdom of Loathing

This may very well be one of the funniest games I've ever seen.  Whomever did the text for it, I'm pretty sure I want to meet...

we can pretty much just add that person to my list of people now...

Oh, and the guy who did the videos about New York English?
Found him on facebook.
He's on twitter too.
I'm happy.

Back to KoL [Kingdom of Loathing].

Here are a few examples of what's in the game.
It's worth it for the text alone!

Before you can even think about being allowed to use their general chat, you have to go to the Alter of Literacy.  Once you pass their test, it says this:

The ghost of the English language looks up at you.
"You have already proven yourself literate! Go forth, then, and avenge my death!"

Some of the items:



tomato

This is a tomato. If you're anything like me, you probably don't like tomatoes. If you're anything like Dan Quayle, you probably can't spell "tomatoes."

(Cooking ingredient)
(Cocktailcrafting ingredient)
Type: food
Selling Price: 35 Meat.

vinegar-soaked lemon slice

This is a slice of lemon soaked in vinegar -- a common folk remedy for warts. Given how caustic it smells, you're guessing it gets rid of warts by dissolving whatever part of your body the warts are on.

Type: food
Level required: 2
Selling Price: 61 Meat.

Mad Train wine

This is a bottle of Mad Train wine. Cheap wine. Nasty wine. Headache-in-a-bottle wine.

Type: booze
Selling Price: 29 Meat.

goofballs

This is a bottle of pills labeled "goofballs." Something tells you that it'd probably be a bad idea to take these.

Type: potion
Cannot be traded
Cannot be discarded

leftovers of indeterminate origin

This is a plastic container of leftovers so old that you're afraid to even open it to see what's in it. You find yourself considering the value of the container, trying to determine if it'd be acceptable to just throw it away instead of washing it.

Type: combat item
Selling Price: 35 Meat.

seal tooth

This is the tooth from a baby seal. It's like a smaller version of the tooth from an adult seal. It's surprisingly sharp, unless you aren't surprised by things that are really sharp, in which case it's sharp, but not surprisingly so.

(Meatsmithing component)
Type: combat / usable item
Selling Price: 1 Meat.

Knob Goblin firecracker

This is a firecracker produced by the Mad Scientists of Cobb's Knob. Seems dangerous -- like it'd be pretty easy to blow off some of your fingers. Or some of somebody else's fingers...

(Meatsmithing component)
Type: combat / usable item
Selling Price: 15 Meat.

unlit birthday cake

This is a birthday cake for Claude, but the candles haven't been lit yet. Claude gets angry if his birthday cake has unlit candles on it, so you'd better take care of this situation as soon as possible. ASAP, one might say. If one were kind of a jackass.

Cannot be traded
Cannot be discarded
Quest Item

rusty grave robbing shovelThis is a shovel used for robbing graves. Too bad it can't also be used as a figurative shovel, for burying the guilt you'd feel if you ever used it. You could give yourself a fantastic dose of tetanus with it, though. That might make you feel better.

Type: weapon (2-handed polearm)
Power: 80
Muscle Required: 25
Selling Price: 80 Meat.Enchantment:
+5 Spooky Damage
Combat Initiative -10%



stolen accordion

This is an accordion, which you stole from someone, you big jerk. Then again, you're keeping someone from playing the accordion, which somewhat balances the negative moral aspects of the theft.

(Meatsmithing component)
Type: ranged weapon (2-handed accordion)
Power: 10
Selling Price: 1 Meat.

That's just funny.

To further demonstrate funny:

You hand the hobo some Meat, and he wanders off happily. You feel pretty good about yourself, 'cause, y'know, supporting somebody's self-destructive alcohol habit always makes you feel good about yourself.

Good Karma You acquire an effect: Good Karma
(duration: 10 Adventures)

If you have a semi-sick, twisted sense of humor [and you know you do!] - then you should give it a shot if only to just go through and read the text written.   Hilarious.

And then when you're going there for your 40 turn clicks a day, you can blame Poptatari for showing that to me.

smiles