Or else!

I found these, and quite frankly, it's funny.
Not funny in a you-can-blow-it-off-laugh-about-it-and-forget-it sort of way...
But more, funny in a someone-is-probably-going-to-prison sort of way.

Vintage valentine's.
...back when they took 'say what you mean' seriously.



You WILL love me or there WILL be war.
No negotiation.


If you don't comply you'll be stalked,
kidnapped, thrown in a trunk, bound and tortured
in my basement until Stockholm syndrome sets in
- if that doesn't work, we'll feed your dead carcass to the rats!


Agree or you'll be mowed down on a dark road
in the middle of the night when there are no witnesses -
and it won't be by mistake!  Got it?!


You will be hunted like livestock!
Love - the stuff that restraining orders are made of.
Actually, I think I have a whole new respect for Valentine's of the past...
You knew EXACTLY what the other person was trying to get across.

Special thanks to 7 Deadly Sinners for pointing them out...