Roadkill*

That's exactly what this animal looks like laying on me.
Roadkill.
pictures to come...

I swear to God, when she sleeps on me - it looks like her neck is broken and her spine is severed in three different places.

Roadkill...
That may be her new name.

Erm... and I've discovered that she loves ham.
LOVES IT.

She has deemed pens evil. If there's one around within her little kitten paws, she must be trying to eat it.

I am also fairly certain that she's going through an identity crisis.
I'm confident that she believes she's a dog.
She.. fetches.
and I do nothing to discourage that because I find it funny... Fine, honey, you be the best damn dog you can be!....for a cat...

I got the Navigation bar back too - so I'm happy now.
It took deleting a piece of code instead of trying to alter it.
like I couldn't have done that in the first place 20 hours ago, right?

Grant is out job hunting and I'm on UPS duty for him, since they never seem to bother knocking on the door when they show up.

He's all dressed up in a suit today.
He barely made it out the door.
Suits are good!

I bought some Impatiens seeds yesterday, the dwarf mix - because for some stupid reason it makes me laugh when it grows 4' high. I got a package of Four O'clock seeds too. I'm not sure if either of them is poisonous, so - it's not such an impressive purchase.

Grant insisted on cutting the grass when we got back from Maryland. He insisted on cutting it right before we went. It's only had five days to heal!

He informed me that he's in a cold war with the neighbor behind us because the neighbor behind us has to cut his lawn whenever Grant does ours.
this must be a guy thing like Ponti Mython said...

The neighbor, we'll call him Cory... because that's his name. Cory apparently tried to one up him and cut his whole lawn on an angle.
the horror

Grant made perfectly spaced lines with ours.
I have no idea why this matters, but clearly it does...

I didn't know what the proper protocol was when someone tells you they're in a cold war over grass, so I simply said, "Screw him! Make it all zig-zagged! That will show him!"
hey, if whomever you're with is insane, it helps if you act like you are too, right?

Grant just stared at me with that, "Why do I even bother to talk to you" look on his face and went back to mowing the lawn.
Well, *I* thought it was funny...

WHAT WAS I SUPPOSE TO SAY?!

Maybe something like, "You know, the new car has a trunk that will easily fit a body in it..."
is that more acceptable, Ponti Mython?

I've just decided that I'm going to destroy the whole area to the right of the garage that's over-grown with...stuff...because I'm tired of guessing what things I like there and what things I hate. So, I think I might just keep the ivy and murder the rest.

Of course, I say keep the ivy like I have a real choice without setting the yard on fire. which, as you all well know by now...I'm hardly above...
The stuff is EVERYWHERE.

It's like the plague and eventually, if not attacked on a regular basis, it will run across the entire length of the flagstone patio.

Let me make this comment about flagstone patios...
Don't do it.
It chips.

I have an archway and one of our many wind storms/snow storms/rain storms blew the stupid thing down a dozen times and ripped apart the Clematis that was growing up it. So, my archway is barren.

I need to trim the tree over the patio too before it gets out of hand.

I have a tree "topper" that I use to trim branches that reach up to 40 feet. I've got to look ridiculous doing it too. I'm 5'3" without heels and I always make the sign of the cross before I cut something above my head and pray I don't sustain a concussion.
I'm pretty quick moving though, normally.

for the love of God...
Okay, I was trying to type and had my feet up on the top of the computer and roadkill just climbed up on top of my knees to stare me straight in the face until I finally said, "We are not a parrot... now get the hell off of me, psycho."

When I say, "straight in the face" - I mean it literally, she couldn't have been a half an inch away from my nose.

I'm not the one that wanted a cat!
How is it that she's always following me around?!

That said, I'm out to do battle with radical thinking ivy - as soon as I can gracefully remove this cat off the top of my left shoulder where she's currently perched...

like I said...identity crisis...